{"id":1065,"date":"2018-07-07T11:24:34","date_gmt":"2018-07-07T11:24:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/?p=1065"},"modified":"2019-07-15T15:51:30","modified_gmt":"2019-07-15T15:51:30","slug":"i-didnt-mean-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/2018\/07\/07\/i-didnt-mean-it\/","title":{"rendered":"I Didn’t Mean It!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"A<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I have screwed up in one of my relationships. \nI said (well wrote) something idiotic and have destroyed someone\u2019s enjoyment of a reasonably harmless pleasure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Prince used to like diet Dr. Pepper. \nI don\u2019t like it, and I said I\ndidn\u2019t like it.  That, in fact, it kind\nof yucked me out.  What I\u2019d never said\nwas why this particular soft drink did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s because of a smell it\nhas.  There\u2019s a harmless chemical in it\nfor flavoring that is a scent marker in another usage.  I won\u2019t say what in case it yucks anyone else\nout, but if you\u2019ve been to a Renfaire, you\u2019ve smelled it.  \u2018Nuff said. \n(Maybe it\u2019s in the same family as the cilantro tasting like Dawn\ndishwashing liquid, which I also have)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spelled this out for The\nPrince.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was part of an email exchange\nin which we were mildly griping on a Friday afternoon when we both wanted to be\nelsewhere doing something else.  Just,\nrandom stuff, being slightly funny, and maybe both of us were in the mood to\nuse slightly sharper humor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was expressing a desire for\ncaffeine to keep me alert on a warm summer afternoon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Prince, who knew I disliked\nDr. Pepper, snarkily commented that he\u2019d just gotten a case.  I\u2019d been desiring something cold and\ncaffeinated, so I decided to snark back explaining in detail why I disliked the\nstuff.  I honestly was trying to be funny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was enough to yuck him out so\nmuch that he can\u2019t bring himself to drink Dr. Pepper ever again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, I feel terrible about\nthis.  Was it \u201cjust a joke?\u201d  Yeah, totally. Did I mean<\/strong> to destroy a harmless pleasure?  I absolutely did not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing is: Whether I mean to or not doesn\u2019t count. \nI must own that I did it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t something I can make\nbetter, either.  So, I had to apologize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHoney, you have no idea how sorry\nI am I\u2019ve screwed this up for you.  I\u2019m\ngoing to try very hard in the future to think before I speak, and if you can\nthink of something that will make this better, I\u2019ll do it.  The only reason I\u2019m not suggesting something\nis that I don\u2019t know what would make it better myself.  I am so sorry I did this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point is, sometimes you screw up\nand you didn\u2019t mean to.  A joke hurt in a\nway you didn\u2019t intend.  Something hit\nsomeone in a way you did not anticipate. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, you can do something to\nmake it better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, that option isn\u2019t\nthere, and increased thoughtfulness in the future is all you\u2019ve got.  You may or may not be forgiven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Either way, you gotta own it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have screwed up in one of my relationships.  I said (well wrote) something idiotic and have destroyed someone\u2019s enjoyment of a reasonably harmless pleasure. The Prince used to like diet Dr. Pepper.  I don\u2019t like it, and I said I didn\u2019t like it.  That, in fact, it kind of yucked me out.  What I\u2019d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boundaries","category-communication","category-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1065","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1065"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1065\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1067,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1065\/revisions\/1067"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}