{"id":19,"date":"2004-07-03T12:49:32","date_gmt":"2004-07-03T17:49:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/?p=19"},"modified":"2004-07-03T12:49:32","modified_gmt":"2004-07-03T17:49:32","slug":"wanna-be-like-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/2004\/07\/03\/wanna-be-like-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Wanna Be Like You"},"content":{"rendered":"

Originally published at\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0http:\/\/www.polyfamilies.com\/misanthrope20040703.html<\/em><\/p>\n

Many people in various alternative lifestyle communities (my own writings leap \t\t\t\t\tto mind) like to go to some lengths to try to explain that we really are “Just \t\t\t\t\tLike You”. Domesticity is often discussed — the activities of dinner around \t\t\t\t\tthe dining room table, the taking out of trash, the fact we have jobs and pay \t\t\t\t\tbills — “Just Like You”.<\/p>\n

I give up. Oh sure, we take out the trash, do laundry and pay bills. So what? \t\t\t\t\t That’s maintenance. That doesn’t make us “just alike”.<\/p>\n

We’re not the same. I know why the assertion existed. I did it, myself. It \t\t\t\t\twas to try to gain some acceptance. It was to point out that we have our lives \t\t\t\t\tand live them as consciously as many.<\/p>\n

Fuggetabouit!<\/p>\n

Yeah, we want acceptance, but part of that is going to come from the \t\t\t\t\trealization that having to consult a calendar to know who sleeps where and with \t\t\t\t\twhom is okay. That there are going to be times when the whole family does not \t\t\t\t\ttravel together, or share the same religion, or yes, you might actually have to \t\t\t\t\tmeet three other people to get an okay to date someone.<\/p>\n

You really want to realize that yes, we \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tare \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t different, take a walk down memory lane to a party I attended recently.<\/p>\n

It’s St. Patrick’s Day. The Pagans (no, not all poly people are pagan, but many are) are Not Wearing Green. Drink is flowing, Irish music is playing, there’s a Guinness to be quaffed and Irish stew for the belly. People are laughing and having a good time.<\/p>\n

The party seems mostly to be in two rooms — the kitchen and the living room. \t\t\t\t\tIn the living room, in lieu of a sofa, there is a mattress covered with pillows \t\t\t\t\tand cool looking throws. I had been in the kitchen, but hear The Beast laugh, \t\t\t\t\tpop my head in and see him lying on the mattress with four woman. Just \t\t\t\t\ttalking. No, this was not an orgy.<\/p>\n

But, of course, I cannot refrain from needling my delightful Beast. Oh no. I \t\t\t\t\tcall out very loudly to my wife, “Hey, looks like The Beast has found himself \t\t\t\t\tnew additions to a harem.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Oh?\u201d says my wife.<\/p>\n

“Yeah. There’s an orgy going on in the living room.\u201d<\/p>\n

From the living room, a clearly female voice protested, “No, it’s \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tmy \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t harem!\u201d<\/p>\n

At this party were some people who were Not Poly — in a couple of cases, they \t\t\t\t\twere people that a friend of the hostess had brought, so it is quite possible \t\t\t\t\tthat they had never even heard of the concept.<\/p>\n

I drifted to the living room to chat with the people in the cuddle pile, but \t\t\t\t\tdid not join it. My wife drifted in and did join it. The people who did not \t\t\t\t\tknow us well all stayed in the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable and a little \t\t\t\t\tfreaked out by the orgy joke and wondering what in the world was going on in \t\t\t\t\tthe living room. They did peek in to see the cuddle pile on the mattress and \t\t\t\t\twound up skipping out some time rather soon after that, clearly uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

It’s little things like that.<\/p>\n

This is not to say that we are special somehow because we are different. We’re \t\t\t\t\tnot, m’kay? We’ve chosen lives that will lead us in paths that are standard \t\t\t\t\tones. That’s okay. For the most part, these differences are not going to be \t\t\t\t\tnoticed, commented upon or even cared about. My boss doesn’t give a rip about \t\t\t\t\tmy sex life, for instance, or that I meet different people for lunch all the \t\t\t\t\ttime, or that I have rather a wide range of pix in my family gallery. Nope, \t\t\t\t\tshe wants to know that I got the filing done on time and will be able to answer \t\t\t\t\tthe darned phone! Am I going to explain to her about poly? No need. Not \t\t\t\t\thiding, mindja. My boyfriend comes to visit my office from time to time, and \t\t\t\t\tif she asked about it, I’d tell her. But, it’s just not pertinent to the \t\t\t\t\tsituation at hand.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Originally published at\u00a0 \u00a0http:\/\/www.polyfamilies.com\/misanthrope20040703.html Many people in various alternative lifestyle communities (my own writings leap to mind) like to go to some lengths to try to explain that we really are “Just Like You”. Domesticity is often discussed — the activities of dinner around the dining room table, the taking out of trash, the fact…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-polyamory-community"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}