{"id":24,"date":"2004-09-25T13:00:17","date_gmt":"2004-09-25T18:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/?p=24"},"modified":"2004-09-25T13:00:17","modified_gmt":"2004-09-25T18:00:17","slug":"snarkiness-messages-and-education","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/2004\/09\/25\/snarkiness-messages-and-education\/","title":{"rendered":"Snarkiness, Messages and Education"},"content":{"rendered":"

Originally published at<\/em><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.polyfamilies.com\/misanthrope20040925.html<\/em><\/p>\n

In an attempt to Do My Duty to the Polyamorous Community, I requested of the \t\t\t\t\tfaithful and passionately interested readers of my blog to help me out with \t\t\t\t\tsomething to rant about. (Translation: Mama Java has been boring her \t\t\t\t\treadership to tears whining about her lack of interesting subject matter for \t\t\t\t\tthe Misanthrope column).<\/p>\n

In their kindness and infinite generosity (Translation: They responded to shut \t\t\t\t\tthe old bat up), I was given several amusing things to rant about, among which \t\t\t\t\twas this little gem:<\/p>\n

\n

\t\t\t\t\tSo, I’m a 43 year old man and I have a 22 year old girl, um, I mean woman, from \t\t\t\t\tthe office that I have been dating for the last nine months. \u00a0How do I \t\t\t\t\tturn my \t\t\t\t\twife polyamorous so she will let Bambi move in. \u00a0(BTW — We will be \t\t\t\t\tblessed with \t\t\t\t\ta child in just under 5 months.) I know that the women will love each other too \t\t\t\t\tif they just get to know each other. \u00a0They might even want to DO each \t\t\t\t\tother. I’d \t\t\t\t\tlove that.<\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\tSo, what do you think I should do to make them all do what I want?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This falls into the “If I didn’t laugh, I’d weep.” category for several \t\t\t\t\treasons. \u00a0One: It’s funny. \u00a0Why is it funny? \u00a0‘Cause it \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\thappens \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t (hence the weeping, too, ’cause it’s pretty tragic when you look at it). \t\t\t\t\t\u00a0Two, \t\t\t\t\tit doesn’t happen \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tthat \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t damned often. and the poly community is insanely suspicious of it.<\/p>\n

As a community, we’re often very quick to assume someone is getting into \t\t\t\t\tpolyamory from bad motives. \u00a0This comes from several places that I can \t\t\t\t\tsee. \u00a0 \t\t\t\t\tAlmost any poly person has been burned by the assumption that we’re into it for \t\t\t\t\tthe sex alone, that we’ve coerced our partners into it, and that we’re \t\t\t\t\tscrewing up our kids. \u00a0Makes us sensitive, it does, and scared that one \t\t\t\t\tof \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tthose \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t people are going to get involved in polyamory and Make Us All Look Bad.<\/p>\n

While I understand the sensitivity, oh \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tGod \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t do I ever, I am concerned. \u00a0The prickliness is not helping in terms of \t\t\t\t\teducation. Yeah, we all roll our eyes at the clueless. \u00a0I do it, you do \t\t\t\t\tit.<\/p>\n

Is it helping?<\/p>\n

You might point out that you don’t really give a rip. \u00a0That’s okay, mind. \t\t\t\t\t \u00a0You \t\t\t\t\tdon’t exactly owe the polyamorous community one whit of your time, energy, \t\t\t\t\tthoughtfulness or wisdom. \u00a0You really don’t . \u00a0But, if you consider \t\t\t\t\tyourself an \t\t\t\t\tactivist, or consider yourself someone to whom education about polyamory is \t\t\t\t\timportant, you might want to rethink your stance at least a little when it \t\t\t\t\tcomes to the Horny Net Geek, the Completely Clueless, and that ever so charming \t\t\t\t\tof all — the Seeker of the Hot Bi Babe.<\/p>\n

What’s your goal? \u00a0Is it to educate? \u00a0Is it to feel superior? \t\t\t\t\t\u00a0Is it that you \t\t\t\t\thave no goal at all, but are frustrated with feeling lumped in with people you \t\t\t\t\tdon’t admire? \u00a0It might do some good to look at this carefully.<\/p>\n

I can just \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\thear \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t some of you guys going, “Hey now waitaminute, oh hypocritical Goddess of Java \t\t\t\t\t(or should we say Goddess of \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tSarcasm \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t)! I’ve \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tseen \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t you rip on people looking for Hot Bi Babes. \u00a0And the crispness to which \t\t\t\t\tyou toast someone who says that cheating is a form of polyamory would put a \t\t\t\t\tdragon to shame! \u00a0Where in \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\thell \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t do you get off with preachin’ the sweetness and light routine?”<\/p>\n

Friends, ya live and learn… <grin> and as my beloved mentor will add, “or ya don’t live long.” \u00a0It isn’t that I don’t find great release and satisfaction in going off on some idiot who righteously deserves it. \u00a0I do. \u00a0The problem is judgment.\u00a0 If the person might be receptive to a little education, the pleasure of the flamb\u00e9 is better laid aside, since my real purpose is to help<\/strong>, for heaven’s sake!<\/p>\n

Naw, I’ll never be all sweetness and light. \u00a0Ain’t my style. \u00a0But, \t\t\t\t\ttrying to make sure my message gets across most \t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tcertainly \t\t\t\t\t<\/strong> \t\t\t\t\t is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Originally published at http:\/\/www.polyfamilies.com\/misanthrope20040925.html In an attempt to Do My Duty to the Polyamorous Community, I requested of the faithful and passionately interested readers of my blog to help me out with something to rant about. (Translation: Mama Java has been boring her readership to tears whining about her lack of interesting subject matter for…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-the-polyamory-community"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}