I’ve been slow in answering letters lately. I’ve got lots of material for lots of columns and I’m noticing a pattern.\n<\/p>\n
Lack of love.\n<\/p>\n
So much of the advice I give is crap unless you proceed from the assumption that all partners love<\/em> each other. And cupcake, I ain’t talkin’ here about hormonal carbonation, nor am I talkin’ any of that soul mates shit, or any other frou-frou nonsense that movies and songs pass off as love.\n<\/p>\n I’m talking about the blood and bone of love. I’m talking about the kind of love that gets you up in the middle of the night to clean up after a sick child. I’m talking about the kind of love that gets you ruthlessly examining how you treat your partner and owning your mistakes (we all make ’em). I’m talking about a deep and profound commitment to knowing partners down into their bones and still having a commitment to being available to them for their growth and welfare.\n<\/p>\n Love in this context can’t work one way, though. That’s the tragic rub. Sometimes I do give advice to DTMFA, and that’s because in the letters, if I see any love at all (and more often I see hormonal carbonation) it’s one way.\n<\/p>\n For poly to work, the love’s gotta be real, friends, and it’s gotta be real all the way around. Partners have to love<\/em> each other, really no kidding, or it can’t possibly work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I’ve been slow in answering letters lately. I’ve got lots of material for lots of columns and I’m noticing a pattern. Lack of love. So much of the advice I give is crap unless you proceed from the assumption that all partners love each other. And cupcake, I ain’t talkin’ here about hormonal carbonation, nor…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love","category-rant"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=832"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/polyamorousmisanthrope.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}