“My idea is simple- everyone needs a blow job, a cookie, and a nap. If that happens, world peace will ensue.”
— The Mad Pirate Bippy
I like pithy statements, as they often illustrate principles.
The Blow-job, cookie and nap (usually abbreviated to BCN) is often prescribed on the PolyFamilies discussion group when someone’s seeming Just a Bit Too Cranky. This isnt’ done as a sneer, but in an honest attempt to be helpful. I’ve always really liked the idea, and not just because orgasms, something sweet and a good nap are all fun things.
Nope, I like it because it’s sensible.
If you’re cranky, tired and overwrought, something to relax you, a nice nap and something to eat is pretty restorative. Just as I discuss in the H.A.L.T post, it deals with the basic biological stuff so you can wake up and think more clearly.1
I encourage this as a fun tool in the Relationship Skill Box — not because I believe sex, sleep and cookies is a cure-all. It ain’t2. But, you know, sometimes in our daily lives and relationships, we get Just Too Damned Serious, and maybe that mountain would look more like a molehill in the face of a good BCN.
If you’re going to suggest it, I warn you, don’t do it in a condescending way to someone who’s upset. It won’t work. Promise. This is where play and jollying is important. You have to be able to present it in a way the other person will want to play. And don’t use it to get out of being chewed out because you were a jerk, either. It won’t work and might make things worse. If you’re gonna suggest it, the BCN has to come from the heart and with honest play, love and concern. Not only that, your partner’s gotta accept that’s where you’re coming from with it.
Discussions can be interrupted after all. As Edward Martin III comments in On Civilized Discourse,
“If there isn’t visible blood or visible flame, chances are, there’s no rush.
Also Known As: “The Law of Chillin’”.”
A BCN is certainly a good way to chill, and maybe after that nap, you might come up with something productive from your dreams and subconscious. (While the cookie was actually an onigiri and partner was omitted, I did write this upon waking from a nap. <grin>).
1This is not entirely dependent on having a partner. You can have an orgasm and a nap without one. I often do, even when partnered. Nice way to fall asleep, after all.
2Sorry, Bippy!
Always a good idea !
Excellent !
ha! I emailed this to my partner, cuz a BCN is almost always a good way to fix about 50% of our bad days!
Can I get a witness?
Yay for Bippy and Edward!
*pumps fist in the air*
Usually works for me when cranky – but may I please have a brownie, instead?
mentioned this to my spouse. she said “that’s great for the guys. what about the women?” I would imagine reciprocity, but does that complicate this simple idea?
Stephen — I’d say it could be amended to say “An orgasm, a cookie, and a nap” just as easily — it’s just fun to say “blow-job” 😉