In a second, he remembered: the Mu-Mon-Kan or “Gateless Gate” of Rinzai Zen contained a story about a monk who kept asking a Zen Master, “What is the Buddha?” Each time he asked, he got hit upside the head with the Master’s staff. Finally discouraged, he left and sought enlightenment with another Master, who asked him why he had left the previous teacher. When the poor gawk explained, the second Master gave him the ontological hotfoot: “Go back to your previous Master at once,” he cried, “and apologize for not showing enough appreciation of his grandmotherly kindness!” — The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea
The Polyamorous Misanthrope is dedicated to the idea that you can be polyamorous, make good choices for your life and not let being poly mean you’re cutting a swath of chaos and destruction into the world around you. Being “in love” is not an excuse for being a jerk, you have no business sacrificing the care of your kids to NRE and you can live consciously and build the good life that you want with the people you choose to have in your life.
Far too often, people do use being in love as an excuse for terrible behavior. What I’d love to see is the polyamorous community setting an example to the world for what good relationships and conscious lives can look like.
The Goddess of Java is a polyamorous writer and one of the co-founders of PolyFamilies. She can be found shooting her mouth off from time to time on the PolyFamilies Mailing List.
She originally wanted to call the column “You’re All Fucking Idiots” but was persuaded not to, and then renamed it as a nod to a fellow citizen of her home town. (Florence King, who lives in Fredericksburg, VA, used to have a column called The Misanthrope’s Corner. She makes the Goddess of Java look like an effete wimp, too).
She lived in a group marriage for five years, is a parent to two of the most amazing children that she hasn’t the arrogance to take credit for and has been polyamorous since her mid teens. She has given talks, organized conventions and would be delighted to give more talks on the subjects of life, love and Polyamory if asked.
