I was recently asked if I’d consent to an interview, but the questions were pretty good and basic, so I’m posting them here: 1. What are common misconceptions you have found with polyamory? Probably the most common is that partners are disposable or interchangeable on some level. The culture that surrounds the monogamy paradigm also…
Author: GoddessofJava
The Care and Feeding of Unicorns
Mama Java is off visiting, so Cinema Babe has generously consented to fill in with this column. It All Begins With A Personal Ad “Hi, we’re Dot and Jim, a friendly, stable, professional couple who would like to meet a vivacious, unattached bi woman. Dot is 36 and bi, Jim is 43 and straight and…
Does It WORK?
In studying the alternative lifestyles and communities of the US in the past 200-odd years, there has been an attempt to judge whether or not these communities are good. That’s fine in the context of a rigid social system or system of morality against which it present a background or framework. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending…
How Do I Meet People?
Okay, either you’re single or you’ve got your primary relationship solid. You’re centered in loving each other, you’re communicating great. Now, you’d like to meet poly people and form some more fantastic relationships. SCREECH! How? That’s going to depend on a lot of things. Where you do you live? Off the top of my head,…
The Questionable Content of Unspoken Assumptions
I’m a big fan of the online strip Questionable Content. One of the more recent strips has a couple of characters have a discussion about sex and relationships that I found interesting. For those poor souls who have not yet had the opportunity to become fans, the two characters are friends with benefits. The male……
I Have Something to Tell You
This week’s column is a guest piece by Edward Martin, III. How do I “break the news” I’m poly? This question rolls around a lot, especially on boards and meetings where there’s a lot of new folks, or folks that have just started dating, or aliens that have only recently arrived on Earth and haven’t…
Closets
I mentioned in last week’s column that there are legitimate reasons why one might want to keep one’s romantic life quite private. A poly person in the military or any other profession where witchhunts for sexual deviance are likely is probably either gonna want to change careers and be out or keep her mouth shut…
Ask the Misanthrope: Cover Story
Hi, Goddess of Java, I am a BIG fan of yours and I come to this site in times of need, loneliness or when other frustrations arise. I am the 3rd in a triad of a married couple with 2 kids. I am very grateful to be able to love my new family and to…
High School Musical Chairs
What is the right action of the larger community when relationship dramas can destabilize and threaten an entire social network? — a very wise friend Pepper Spray. Well, okay, no you can’t do that. But hold that thought a minute. If you’re polyamorous and are lucky enough to have a social network in your city,…
Enemies and Allies
This guest column was written by Edward Martin, III. A lot of people seem to have a lot of trouble talking with their partners. Now, sometimes, I can understand this. Some topics are embarrassing, or awkward or uncomfortable. Some topics are even potentially dangerous to the relationship. So, yeah, talking with partners can be tricky….