Even though I’m not a parent in a group marriage any more, I still co-parent with my ex-spice. On a trip to visit my family in Virginia, I was discussing child-rearing with my own parents and we were talking about the different experiences my kids had[1] as a result of being reared by four people….
Author: GoddessofJava
Designated Control Freak
One of the issues that often arise in poly situations — especially in group living is who decides what gets done. Sure, sure, a consensus model works. But have you ever gotten more than two people to happily agree on more than 50% of decisions? (The “happily” part is important in the long run. Just…
Effective Communication
We talk about communication being important between polyamorous people all the time, and with good reason. It is important. I got to thinking about ways to ensure good communication and came up with the following: Tell the truth This seems really basic and you know, it isn’t. I’m not talking “Brutal Honesty” here. That’s usually…
Relationship Broken, Add More People
Polyamorous literature is full of touching stories of how opening a marriage rekindled a deep and abiding love between the original couple and deepen their relationship. You think I’m gonna sneer, ain’tcha? Nope. I’m not. I think many of those stories are quite true and are wonderful tales to tell. I do want to point…
Re-Run: If it Ain’t About Love
It’s been a busy week and I have the flu, so this is a re-run of a personal fave. Peeve time, and this is a big one. I get sucked into drama really easily. I’m an intense person and all the gods know that I am a sucker for almost any type of intensity –…
It Ain’t Just Polyamory, People!
Back many moons ago when I used to write for PolyFamilies, my spice at the time and I used to muse over the fact that the site would be useful to almost anyone. It was mostly about running a household, with the quirkiness of being a multi-adult marriage thrown in. The principles, however, could be…
The PolyFamilies Drinking Game
Back about a year ago, when I rejoined the PolyFamilies Community, I was still working in an office and had some slack time. Being bored, I proposed creating a PolyFamilies drinking game based on some common things that happened on the particular list. Some of ’em are peculiar to the PolyFamilies “subculture”, and some are…
The Final Word on Polyamory
A lot of people think that there’s some definition of polyamory that’s the final word on the subject. I’d like to address that a little. Technically, this article should be about three words long: “There isn’t one.” Once you get past the concept of “willing to have more than one sexual/romantic partner”, you start getting…
When You Catch the Unicorn
For all that I often make cracks about couples looking for that bi-chick to move in with them for lives of Perfect Poly Bliss, sometimes you really do find someone who might really want to form a family with a couple. When moving from a couple dynamic to a triad, you’ve kinda gotta be willing…
Presumption
“You like coffee! I like coffee, too! We must be soul mates and spend all of our time together!” — A wise online friend with whom I really oughta make a coffee date. I’ve noticed among the various online perverts a certain tendency. If we’re sexual deviants, it’s not unusual to expect that to come…