Poly relationships have no legal recognition or protection. Yeah, yeah, I know, tell you guys something you don’t know. This doesn’t mean you should be an idiot if you decide to move in with your loves. Several years ago, one of my partners and I transcribed (with permission) a sample property sharing contract written for…
Author: GoddessofJava
Thou Art God
That pantheistic, mystical “Thou art God!” chorus that runs through the book is not offered as a creed, but as an existentialist assumption of personal responsibility, devoid of all godding. It says, “Don’t appeal for mercy to God the Father up in the sky, little man, because he’s not at home and never was at…
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
We talk about the polyamory mantra being communicate, communicate, communicate. Do I agree with it? Good Lord, yes! Communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. When you stop communicating, things fall apart. Most people who’ve been on this spinning globe more than twelve years or so have had the dubious pleasure of entering into…
Back to Basics
In any physical art you study, be it dance, martial arts, swimming, or team sport, one day, you’ll go to class or practice and the coach/teacher will announce with an evil gleam to the eyes, “We’re drilling the basics today.” The beginners won’t react much. They’re still learning, after all, and any basics drill is…
How to Be an Activist
An article has zipped around the polyamory community in the past week. An advice columnist answered a letter from a polyamorous reader. A lot of people didn’t like the answer the columnist gave. No, I’m not going to sound off about it. What I want to do today is talk a bit about my own…
Infidelity: A Deeper Analysis of the Desperate Housewife (or -Husband)
This isn’t by the Goddess of Java, but is by The Ferret and originally posted here. Reposted by permission. This is excellent stuff! In my last discussion of infidelity, I outlined the four basic types of cheaters. Of that, there were only two who you could really hope to have a relationship with: The…
One is Silver, and the Other Gold…
You’re poly, you’re new to it and you’re excited. Then some jerk starts picking apart your happiness and excitement and you feel smacked. What the hell? You know the community you joined said it was talking about polyamory. Aren’t these people supposed to be sympathetic? A newly poly person, having a new interest, is probably…
Doing Well by Doing Good
I often get what appears to be a wild hare across my butt to encourage crazy things to happen. In reality, I think about things for several months or years and then bring them up when the time looks right to me. This past week has been one of those times, and we’re getting ready…
Before You Do the Deed!
Anyone over the age of 13 ought to know that sex can have consequences. We all know you can get pregnant, get a disease, blah, blah, blah, that safe sex isn’t1 and that contraception is not always perfect. Do you ever talk about this sort of thing with your partners? If you don’t/haven’t, please do….
Dependent/Independent/Interdependent
Community is important. (Yeah, yeah, I know, big shock that I’d say that. Stop pretending to have a heart attack). I’ve been preaching boundaries and acceptable behavior for many months here, and the reason I do it is because community is important and you cannot have a good relationship without interdependence. Thing is, you won’t…