I’m in a primary poly relationship and a few secondary ones. On the whole things are great and the world is wonderful. One of my newer partners has a primary and poly family of his own. They are a great bunch of people. We’ve been taking things slow and recently both cleared our STI screening…
Author: GoddessofJava
One Poly Opera
Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this. It may be quite lengthy, so brace yourself! I am definitely in need of some goddess intervention tho… (Yes, the letter is long. I’ve edited for length here) I have been in a polyamorous relationship for a year and a half now, and, let…
Trying to Break Us Up
What to do when a secondary female is trying get the primary male to breakup with the primary female in a polyamorous relationship? This was not an Ask the Misanthrope Question, but a search term that appeared to link to this blog. In casting around for a topic upon which to write, I figured this…
Where’s the Love?
I have a fundamental flaw that is of course so embedded in my personality, that I cannot recognize it. Maybe you can help. I fall in love with plain, vanilla women for about a year, sometimes less sometimes much longer. At the end, I find myself searching for someone who is as un-vanilla as I…
A Can of Worms: Polyamory Definitions
Got an interesting one in my mailbox this morning: How is Polyamory different from being in an open relationship? I got into an argument with someone about it, I think it’s an unrealistic idea for most people. I personally believe that “polyamory” for many people is an intellectual validation/ politically correct term for “promiscuity” or…
Bailing on Dates
I met my secondary partner earlier this year and we took our time getting to know each other before we played, and agreed to start a play-partnership. Then a few months ago she met a new primary, and I only found this out when she added a new relationship status up online. As a result…
On Gaslighting
This guest column was written by Peter J. Vinton, Jr., aka The Prince. It’s Just A Trifle Lily innocuously asks a favor of you one day. Say, a quick phone call asking you to pick up her friend Orlando in front of the hardware store, and then to drop him off at the grocery store,…
One Poly Weekend
I had someone comment on Hobbiton today mentioning that she wasn’t seeing people with happy poly relationships talking about them, but she was seeing discussion of the unhappy ones and that she was beginning to despair, except for another poly writer and myself. While I hadn’t really considered this weekend good column fodder, it involved…
The Anti-Polyamory Press is at it Again
Why “Open” Marriages Don’t Work. This article is a bit insidious and I find it disturbing. The basic allusion is that anyone who wants to be poly is damaged somehow and might actually have Schizoid Personality Disorder. I deeply disagree with many points in her article. Where there’s not an armchair diagnosis, she seems to…
Package Deals in Polyamory
For the record, this letter was a bit longer. I’ve edited it for brevity, but I hope that I kept the salient points: For almost half a year now, I’ve been involved in a polyamorous relationship with a married man. His wife and I are very different people. I’ve been trying to find some common…