I got an interesting letter from a reader who was concerned about a forthcoming Heavy Discussion with their own Poly Group. There was nervousness. There was concern. There was a desire to Get It Right. Ya know, knowing how to have a Heavy Emotional Discussion is an important skill in any relationship. I mean, when…
Category: Communication
Transitioning From Triad to V
I am madly in love with one of my partners. We have been together for a year and a half. He has been married to a woman for 19 years whom I love dearly. They were not poly at the time. She had never been attracted to a woman at all until me but it…
Jack and Jill
About a year ago I met a man whom I had an immediate connection with (I still to this day cannot explain what made me feel so comfortable with him right off the bat as I am generally a reserved woman around strangers), and we soon after began spending quite a lot of time together….
Never Promised Monogamy
So a couple of months ago I met man online who advertised himself as being in an open marriage. He lives far away. We hit it off in a huge way, and a month later he came to visit me. The chemistry was there in person, as well. He and his wife, with whom I…
How to Rebuild Trust
I stumbled across your blog while searching for resources on polyamory and STDs. Another question that someone asked was like what happened to me and encouraged me to talk to someone. My wife and I have been together for a little over five years and just about two months ago we decided to pursue Polyamory….
Bait and Switch in Polyamory
I don’t know if I’m not really poly or just got myself into a bad situation my first time out. I met a man who said he was poly, and I liked him. I thought about it really long and hard and decided that I would like to explore a relationship with him. He is…
Comments and an Apology
Recently I was just screwing around with the back end of my site and realized that the spam trap had thousands of comments in it. Some small portion of those comments were utterly legitimate, and I did my best to search them out. However, it is entirely possible that I’ve missed some and wound up…
When You Make a Mistake
My partner and I have been together for a little over two years and just about a month ago we decided to pursue Polyamory. It came at a time when we were both just starting to get over a huge hump in our relationship and were feeling really good about us. But it was also…
How did I get in THIS mess?
I sometimes talk about creeping concessions, but I sometimes wonder if I’m giving the impression that I don’t believe in negotiation. Nothing could be further from the truth. The only real trick is how to differentiate the two. Creeping concessions, in my experience, are one-time concessions or favors that are then established as precedents from…
Bouncing the Reality Check
I’m in a primary poly relationship and a few secondary ones. On the whole things are great and the world is wonderful. One of my newer partners has a primary and poly family of his own. They are a great bunch of people. We’ve been taking things slow and recently both cleared our STI screening…