I’ve posted a series of columns lately where there is a gentle (or not so gentle) encouragement to get the hell out of a relationship. I bet you think this means that if there’s the slightest problem, I think you oughta just cut and run, don’t you? People who know me well enough to know…
Category: relationships
Jack and Jill
About a year ago I met a man whom I had an immediate connection with (I still to this day cannot explain what made me feel so comfortable with him right off the bat as I am generally a reserved woman around strangers), and we soon after began spending quite a lot of time together….
How to Rebuild Trust
I stumbled across your blog while searching for resources on polyamory and STDs. Another question that someone asked was like what happened to me and encouraged me to talk to someone. My wife and I have been together for a little over five years and just about two months ago we decided to pursue Polyamory….
Unfuck Your Habitat
While certainly housekeeping is not poly-specific, the attitudes around housework and housekeeping can contribute to a happy poly household or rip it apart. May I present an option that might be of use to some of you: Unfuck Your Habitat The basic system might seem a bit like FlyLady. You do bit of work in…
Overcoming Insecurities
How about some suggestions on working with your partner to overcome insecurities? Interesting question: and one that could be taken two ways. I’ll deal with the shortest first. If we interpret it as, “How can I fix my partner so s/he can be more convenient when I’m all hot and bothered about my new flame?”…
Trying to Break Us Up
What to do when a secondary female is trying get the primary male to breakup with the primary female in a polyamorous relationship? This was not an Ask the Misanthrope Question, but a search term that appeared to link to this blog. In casting around for a topic upon which to write, I figured this…
Will a Baby Change my Polyamorous Relationship?
Okay, go read the title. Then think a minute. Damn right one of your partners having a baby is going to change things. Jesus, where’s your brain? Reams of paper go out with printed whinging about fathers who feel jealous of the attention their wives give their new babies. It’s something even monogamous people have…
Secondary Relationships Follow-up: They Ain’t All Bad
Yesterday, I posted a tongue-in-cheek collaboration between a couple of snarky, but very wise men who were expressing concerns about how secondaries are often treated. Is it funny? Yes. Will it make some people cry because it was true for them? Sadly, yes. This is not to say that a secondary relationship is automatically bad. …
Are Polyamorous Relationships Hard?
There’s a common thread that I’m noticing in relationship talk that I’d like to address. It’s not necessarily polyamory specific, but I’ve never let it stop me before, so here we go: “Relationships are hard.” I first ran across this in a Focus on the Family publication back in the 1980s when I started reading…
The Key Factor to Polyamory Relationship Success
In talking about polyamory relationship success, I do take as a given that you’re a rational grown-up. Relationships are for grown-ups. If you’re not a grown-up, fix that, first. Own your own shit, realize the world doesn’t revolve around you, have some basic self-knowledge and the ability to communicate honestly. If you don’t have those…