Okay, either you’re single or you’ve got your primary relationship solid. You’re centered in loving each other, you’re communicating great. Now, you’d like to meet poly people and form some more fantastic relationships. SCREECH! How? That’s going to depend on a lot of things. Where you do you live? Off the top of my head,…
Category: relationships
Ask the Misanthrope: Cover Story
Hi, Goddess of Java, I am a BIG fan of yours and I come to this site in times of need, loneliness or when other frustrations arise. I am the 3rd in a triad of a married couple with 2 kids. I am very grateful to be able to love my new family and to…
Designated Control Freak
One of the issues that often arise in poly situations — especially in group living is who decides what gets done. Sure, sure, a consensus model works. But have you ever gotten more than two people to happily agree on more than 50% of decisions? (The “happily” part is important in the long run. Just…
Effective Communication
We talk about communication being important between polyamorous people all the time, and with good reason. It is important. I got to thinking about ways to ensure good communication and came up with the following: Tell the truth This seems really basic and you know, it isn’t. I’m not talking “Brutal Honesty” here. That’s usually…
Relationship Broken, Add More People
Polyamorous literature is full of touching stories of how opening a marriage rekindled a deep and abiding love between the original couple and deepen their relationship. You think I’m gonna sneer, ain’tcha? Nope. I’m not. I think many of those stories are quite true and are wonderful tales to tell. I do want to point…
It Ain’t Just Polyamory, People!
Back many moons ago when I used to write for PolyFamilies, my spice at the time and I used to muse over the fact that the site would be useful to almost anyone. It was mostly about running a household, with the quirkiness of being a multi-adult marriage thrown in. The principles, however, could be…
When You Catch the Unicorn
For all that I often make cracks about couples looking for that bi-chick to move in with them for lives of Perfect Poly Bliss, sometimes you really do find someone who might really want to form a family with a couple. When moving from a couple dynamic to a triad, you’ve kinda gotta be willing…
Feelings are Not Facts
I follow my intuition, go with my gut, all that. The times I haven’t? Well, things didn’t exactly have what I would call an optimum outcome. Does this mean I think, “Well, I feel this way, so it must be true!” is the way to go. Not. Even. Close. We get a lot of pushing…
The Long-Distance Relationship
Raise your hand if you’ve developed a friendship or a relationship online. Betcha a doughnut that just about everyone reading this has had one. This means a fair whack of you have had that weird beast in your life — the Long-Distance Relationship (LDR). Communications and networking being what they are, we simply do see…
You Don’t Have to Do It
I’ve been watching on several polyamory boards to see people trying to make themselves okay with being in polyamorous relationships. I’ve seen descriptions of people feeling like their hearts are being ripped out. I’ve seen descriptions of people wanting to curl into a ball and cry while their partners are with other people. I’ve even…