This guest column is by Jenny Ford. Polyamory ain’t all beer and skittles. Like your hand, it has two sides, and they can’t be separated. For every wonderful advantage to being polyamorous, there is a corresponding down side, and some of them are mighty difficult to anticipate. Jealousy, time management, communication and boundaries are the…
Category: relationships
But I NEED You!
I’ve been in sexual relationships for over twenty years as well as having made a study of them in the last seven. The more I study, the more I see that many problems in relationships seem to be problems of dependence and commodifying a partner. Dependence comes in many forms — emotional, physical, financial. If…
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
We talk about the polyamory mantra being communicate, communicate, communicate. Do I agree with it? Good Lord, yes! Communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. When you stop communicating, things fall apart. Most people who’ve been on this spinning globe more than twelve years or so have had the dubious pleasure of entering into…
One is Silver, and the Other Gold…
You’re poly, you’re new to it and you’re excited. Then some jerk starts picking apart your happiness and excitement and you feel smacked. What the hell? You know the community you joined said it was talking about polyamory. Aren’t these people supposed to be sympathetic? A newly poly person, having a new interest, is probably…
Before You Do the Deed!
Anyone over the age of 13 ought to know that sex can have consequences. We all know you can get pregnant, get a disease, blah, blah, blah, that safe sex isn’t1 and that contraception is not always perfect. Do you ever talk about this sort of thing with your partners? If you don’t/haven’t, please do….
Dependent/Independent/Interdependent
Community is important. (Yeah, yeah, I know, big shock that I’d say that. Stop pretending to have a heart attack). I’ve been preaching boundaries and acceptable behavior for many months here, and the reason I do it is because community is important and you cannot have a good relationship without interdependence. Thing is, you won’t…
Why OLQ Broke Up
Okay, how many of you suckers really, really think I’m going to do a post about that? What I am going to do is explain a bit about why there isn’t, nor will there ever be, a Misanthrope article analyzing OLQ’s breakup1. The first is merely the tacky factor. I have a strong distaste, shared…
A Blow-Job, a Cookie, and a Nap
“My idea is simple- everyone needs a blow job, a cookie, and a nap. If that happens, world peace will ensue.” — The Mad Pirate Bippy I like pithy statements, as they often illustrate principles. The Blow-job, cookie and nap (usually abbreviated to BCN) is often prescribed on the PolyFamilies discussion group when someone’s seeming…
Chore Wars
Keeping track of household chores a point of contention with you and your love(s)? Are you even slightly a geek? Do you have a sense of humor? Have I got something fun for you! Chore Wars. It’s a very customizable program by which you and your household can have a D&D style adventure revolving around……
Election Day
Be yourself. It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it! — attributed all over the damn’ place. I’ve been watching some of the debates about the merits of potential candidates for the Presidency of the United States with considerably less enthusiasm than usual. (Not that it was ever all that damn’ high. I’m a…