The Western concept of romantic love is appalling and causes a lot of damage. There are days when I want to go back in time and kick Eleanor of Aquitaine’s ass. [1] Here are the ideas that I see are most common, and ideas I think are about as unproductive as can be. Love=Romantic Passion….
Category: relationships
Vetos
I wanna talk a bit about vetos. I don’t like ‘em – not one tiny little bit. I don’t like the ramifications of a veto. There is an implication of ownership overlaid with a serious lack of trust. No, don’t whine at me about this. If you need a veto, there is a desire to…
When You’re Home Alone
When you’re poly and partnered, sometimes the partner has a date, and for whatever reason you’re “stuck” home. How do you treat this time? Bitch, moan, put your hair in curlers and wear your granny housecoat?1 Don’t. Whether or not you are finding you might want to negotiate or renegotiate time agreements, now is not…
Embracing the Inner Hardass
Do you have Rules for Dating? If you don’t, you should. Yes, I know, “should” is bad and evil and I’m stomping all over boundaries to tell you that you should be doing anything. Feh. I suck, I know. Okay… You might find it helpful to write yourself a series of dating rules. (Better?) I…
Help! Someone I Love is Poly!
Originally published at http://www.polyfamilies.com/misanthrope20050430.html I want to thank a recent reader of the PolyFamilies site for the idea for this column. I’ve been a bit blocked for a month or so, trying to come up with something good to write, and this was an excellent topic! Every now and then I get letters from people…
So, You Wanna Be Poly
Originally published at http://www.polyfamilies.com/misanthrope20050319.html So, what if you’re already in a relationship and want to convince a spouse/partner to try polyamory? As I have stated before, I am not particularly sympathetic to cheating . I frequently have conversations with people who say that they have this compelling need to love more than one person, but…
Heartbreak
Originally published at http://www.polyfamilies.com/misanthrope20050122.html I am desperately worried for the poly community. We’re supposed to be this group of people dedicated to love. And yet — I see more pain, heartache, broken dreams, cruelty and what have you going on in the poly community. It’s drama, miscommunication, expectations… I’ve mentioned this, with a certain level…
Who’s Your Primary?
Originally published at http://www.polyfamilies.com/misanthrope20050108.html Quick, name your primary! Did you name your spouse? A live-in lover? Someone you don’t live with that you are deeply in love with? What about yourself? No, I’m dead serious. You are the only person that you’re sure as shit to live with the rest of your life. Anything else…
The Holiday Spirit
Originally published at http://www.polyfamilies.com/misanthrope20041225.html Well, honestly? I think a lot of people who complain about not having any holiday spirit do so because they don’t feel that they’re festive enough, rather than accepting whatever level of festiveness they happen to feel at the moment. I mean, you’re not going to feel wonderful just because it…
Balance
Originally published at http://www.polyfamilies.com/misanthrope20041211.html “Don’t do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.” –– Henry Rollins Moderation is not and never has been my best friend. I like it hot…