I know I haven’t been updating much. There are several reasons for this. The biggest is that one can only say, “Don’t be a fucking idiot” in so many ways before the message begin to get a little monotonous. The other is that I’ve been leading a life so devoid of drama that I’m not…
Category: The Polyamory Community
How Do I Meet People?
Okay, either you’re single or you’ve got your primary relationship solid. You’re centered in loving each other, you’re communicating great. Now, you’d like to meet poly people and form some more fantastic relationships. SCREECH! How? That’s going to depend on a lot of things. Where you do you live? Off the top of my head,…
Closets
I mentioned in last week’s column that there are legitimate reasons why one might want to keep one’s romantic life quite private. A poly person in the military or any other profession where witchhunts for sexual deviance are likely is probably either gonna want to change careers and be out or keep her mouth shut…
Ask the Misanthrope: Cover Story
Hi, Goddess of Java, I am a BIG fan of yours and I come to this site in times of need, loneliness or when other frustrations arise. I am the 3rd in a triad of a married couple with 2 kids. I am very grateful to be able to love my new family and to…
High School Musical Chairs
What is the right action of the larger community when relationship dramas can destabilize and threaten an entire social network? — a very wise friend Pepper Spray. Well, okay, no you can’t do that. But hold that thought a minute. If you’re polyamorous and are lucky enough to have a social network in your city,…
Bread Upon Waters
We complain all the time about the Internet driving us apart, making us more distant from each other. We talk about Internet friendships not being so “real”. I want to tell you about a friendship that I have. It’s totally online. I’ve never met this person in real life at all. But when I was…
Re-Run: If it Ain’t About Love
It’s been a busy week and I have the flu, so this is a re-run of a personal fave. Peeve time, and this is a big one. I get sucked into drama really easily. I’m an intense person and all the gods know that I am a sucker for almost any type of intensity –…
The PolyFamilies Drinking Game
Back about a year ago, when I rejoined the PolyFamilies Community, I was still working in an office and had some slack time. Being bored, I proposed creating a PolyFamilies drinking game based on some common things that happened on the particular list. Some of ’em are peculiar to the PolyFamilies “subculture”, and some are…
The Final Word on Polyamory
A lot of people think that there’s some definition of polyamory that’s the final word on the subject. I’d like to address that a little. Technically, this article should be about three words long: “There isn’t one.” Once you get past the concept of “willing to have more than one sexual/romantic partner”, you start getting…
Presumption
“You like coffee! I like coffee, too! We must be soul mates and spend all of our time together!” — A wise online friend with whom I really oughta make a coffee date. I’ve noticed among the various online perverts a certain tendency. If we’re sexual deviants, it’s not unusual to expect that to come…