This column may come across as slightly sexist. I’m sorry for that, but it’s a thread I’ve been pulling that I’m having a hard time getting out of my mind. You probably could apply this to other dynamics, but I’ve not yet analyzed them to the point where I feel comfortable talking about them. I bow in the dust.
FWB, Button and I got together this weekend. *chuckles* I need to see them more often, as it seems that a visit from them is sure to inspire a poly column. I suppose it’s the cross germination of ideas. The Prince and I have been together for twenty years and have been poly the whole time, so it’s not like polyamory is something we discuss or analyze as often as other subjects.
FWB is pretty successful at “getting the ladies”, if you want to look at it that way, and one of the men he knows was admiring this fact and wondering how he did it. No, it’s not about movie star good looks, nor is it all being about Mr. Cool.
FWB simply enjoys the company of women. This is significantly different from liking getting laid. He enjoys the conversation, the hanging out, just enjoys interacting with women as people.
I know men, men that are as strictly heterosexual as FWB, that really don’t like hanging out with women all that much. Pussy? My God yes, they love that. But to get it, it’s almost as if they’re diving into this strange and uncomfortable world that they tolerate to get a drug or something. Myself, I think it’s a little tragic they’re not sexually attracted to men. They’d be happier.
I’ve noticed this almost across the board. The men I’ve known who are quite successful at multiple relationships with women are invariably interested in women in and out of bed. They tended to find the woman’s mind as fascinating as her body. None of the men I am thinking of would fit the “Sensitive New Age Guy” stereotype, either. They’re all intelligent, dynamic, opinionated people. Some are courtly, others aren’t. Some are laid back, others have a bit of a temper. Some have really “alpha” personalities, others don’t. The one characteristic they seem to have in common is that simple enjoyment of female company.
 Through some crazy relationship ups and downs.
 Nor is it mutually exclusive, mind.