I had someone comment on Hobbiton today mentioning that she wasn’t seeing people with happy poly relationships talking about them, but she was seeing discussion of the unhappy ones and that she was beginning to despair, except for another poly writer and myself.
While I hadn’t really considered this weekend good column fodder, it involved what good poly relationships can look like, so I figured I’d do a post about it so you can see how this works.
We start the weekend going to pick up my daughter. She and her mother had moved recently and she wanted to go to a local event in our town to be able to see some friends from her old home. On the way, I get a text. Now, I might be crazy, but I’m not insane enough to text and drive. So I get The Prince to take a look at my phone and see what’s up. It was from FWB wanting to arrange a visit and suggesting a date. I asked The Prince if he had anything planned for the time period that might interfere. He said no, so I asked if he’d text FWB agreeing to the date.
We pick up our daughter, have some dinner and head home. It’s late, so everyone goes to bed.
The next morning, we Clean All the Things, go grocery shopping, and drop off a bag of canned, boxed stuff, and diapers at the local food pantry – usual Saturday morning stuff. Cleaning All the Things takes less than half the time it usually does, due to an extra pair of hands. Ditto on the shopping. Teenagers are amazingly wonderful creatures.
The Prince’s girlfriend, Mme Bernhardt, was due to come over that evening, and he also had a radio show he was hosting, so what with that and the kids’ outing, I decided to whip up some pizzas for all of us for dinner. After that, the kids went out and The Prince disappeared to prep for his show. Mme Bernhardt needed a dress for a film shoot the next day, so we went shopping to find something that would match her favorite shoes. Yes, yes, most people would look for shoes to match a dress, but hey…
We had a good time doing some shopping and found a gorgeous dress for her. We came back in time to hear some of The Prince’s show and await the return of the kids. We had dirty martinis, and after the kids drifted back in, we played some Wii Sports Resort. I arrogantly declared I was going to whip Mme Bernhardt’s butt at Wakeboarding only to be humbled by having my score nearly doubled. You’d think I’d learn…
The next day, The Prince made us all breakfast, then he and Mme Bernhardt went off to the set. About a half an hour later, I get a text saying that Muscle Boy should be there because it would be good experience for him. So I herd the kids to the car and drop him off to go be a padawan. My daughter and I spend the afternoon getting a new power adapter for her computer, and just generally hanging out.
The shoot ran late but not too badly, so we were all able to sit down to dinner together before we had to get our daughter home.
This is what poly can look like when there’s not a great deal of foolishness or drama going on. Poly writers tend not to write about this stuff because when things are going well, it’s… just life. You don’t really think about it. I wasn’t planning to write this at all, except for a comment which prompted it.
Which prompts something else. What’s your happy poly story?
22 thoughts on “One Poly Weekend”
I had a lot of fun one weekend posting on FB when my boyfriend “E” came over with his two kids to play with our daughter Maya. That same day, my husband’s other partner had HER boyfriend “A” over. So I got to post that His (A’s) girlfriend’s partner’s wife’s boyfriend’s kids are playing with Maya in the living room”. Just a normal day in a not-so-normal household.
That sounds sweet. I admit even though I’m poly, I have some amazingly old-fashioned tastes. Family gatherings are just so much fun!
My happy poly story is…just life. It does seem like there’s little to say when everything is running smoothly.
This weekend I spent Friday night having a quiet evening at home cooking. My boyfriend (C) and his other partner (O) had a date, and I didn’t have anything else planned, so I made a meal C wouldn’t like for myself. The next day I was taking my parents to a local festival, where I ran into the O and her partner T and introduced them to my parents. My mom asked if I get jealous of O (sometimes, but not very often) and how I get enough time with C (I ask for what I want, and I have a life of my own even when I’m only dating one person). Sunday I went over to C’s house and heard about his fun date with O, worked on a jigsaw puzzle, and ran some errands.
We talked about scheduling a party some time in the next few weeks. It needs to be on a day that O and T can make it. My married ex-partners V and B and their new partner S will be invited, as well as another of my former partners and his wife and the couple she’s dating…and parties get very big very quickly when you’re inviting entire interlocking poly groups!
Isn’t it fantastic when you can discuss poly openly with family? I’m glad you can do that!
Husband (E), boyfriend (J) and I stayed up late Friday night watching silly movies with a couple of friends to celebrate a birthday. J went home and E and I crashed. We woke up late Saturday, and E started working on the bathroom that he’s remodeling. I fetched water and whatnot, and then he showered and got ready for date night with his girlfriend (A). He and A arranged to sleep over at her place, since I had to get up early to sing in the church choir the next morning and that makes it easier for me to get up and go. J finished his Magic tournament, and he and I had a late dinner, went to his place to check on his dog and grab some clothes, and stayed up playing World of Warcraft for awhile, taking breaks while I went to water our trees (we’re on water restrictions so we can only water one day a week, and it’s much better to water at night). I got up Sunday and sang at church, with J showing up for the second service. We had some lunch together, then E and I hung out a little before J and I went to an orchestra concert with a friend of his and had some dinner. Then J headed home, and E and I chatted, watched some cartoons, and snuggled before turning in fairly early. It was a pretty typical weekend; maybe a little nerdier than average. Other common activities include movies and football games and playing Rock Band.
Hey, poly nerds are awesome! Sounds like you’re also really musical, too. That’s cool.
I like the mornings when the Hubby offers to bring me the phone in bed so I can call the Boyfriend (nine time zones over, so it’s nighttime for him when we’re waking up) and then the Hubby gets so excited about the Boyfriend’s project that I have to pass the phone over so the boys can talk tech for a while.
Do you ever find people are surprised that partner’s partners are friends, or is that taken for granted amongst you and yours?
i know that i get that a lot. People find it strange that we’re friends with our metamours and (most of) our exes. i just don’t quite understand the idea that these people should not be our friends! 🙂
(I just found your blog. I love conversations like this one, and had to chime in 🙂
I’m in a V with Husband (5.5 years together) and Consort (best friends for a few years, only together for a matter of months). We moved in together in June because living separately was too expensive; it was sooner than Consort and I would have liked, but things have gone smoothly and worked pretty well.
This past weekend we had a long D&D session Friday night, along with another friend. We cleaned some house together, took turns cooking and doing dishes, and went to the recycle center on Sunday. Husband worked on a hat he was knitting, and Consort bought me a video game. I got some reading done, and we snuggled on the couch. That’s our super exciting life! Just the way I like it. 🙂
Just the way you like it is awesome.
My husband and I didn’t get to see our girlfriend “Anna” this weekend, but that’s because one of her long-distance boyfriends is in town. She’s more or less head-over-heels for him–they seem to be fully wrapped up in the NRE phase of their relationship–so I think it’s awesome. Instead, we stayed in all weekend playing video games. Even got to introduce our 2-year-old daughter to the joys of Katamari Damacy.
The poly highlight of the weekend was when the girlfriend sent me a message on Google Talk. The message ping came through my computer speakers, and my daughter, on the other side of the room, jumped up and practically cheered, “It’s Anna!” We’ve got no idea how she knew it was Anna–we’re guessing latent psychic powers.
Never underestimate the psychic powers of a small child. Especially when you’re in front of your mother in law… 🙂
I usually work weekends but a couple of weekends ago I had off. Friday I had quiet night with my husband (A) and our daughter (our other child had been dropped off at his dads earlier) . Saturday A and I got up and made food treats for the day and then went and picked up coffee and breakfast sandwiches to bring back to my boyfriends (J) house. As we arrived my sister pulled in as she was in charge of both my kid and Js kids for the day. After everyone loved her new baby J, A, and I left for the Boston Freedom Rally. Once arriving there we met up with Js wife (S) and her bf (K) (she had spent the night in boston with him) and picked up supplies for the rally. J,A, and I spent the day in boston, J treated A and I to fantastic dinner out then we went back to his house to relieve my sister. After putting kids to bed the three of us watch a movie and then A, myself, and my Dtr went home. Sunday was chores and then J picked me up for our date in the afternoon once his wife was home… what a great weekend!
Ah, happy, drama-free poly stories. They’re lovely.
This past weekend was full of visits to hospitalized family members and preparations for my primary partner V’s birthday party. One of V’s sweeties/submissives (J) comes over to help with household chores every other day, and while she was here on Friday, we made a plan for her to take all of V’s boots home and work her bootblack magic on them as a surprise; they’ll be all lined up when we walk into her apartment for His birthday dinner next Saturday. She and i talked about a new Dominant she’s dating as well. On Saturday night, at V’s birthday party, we both got to flirt with a friend we have crushes on, and my newest sweetie (F) showed up for a little while. F, V & i made plans to attend a music festival together next weekend.
Nothing exciting, nothing fancy, nothing special. Just life with more love.
I’ve just started dating two guys lately so last week was like this: Partner R stayed at home for bisexual visibility day while I went out on a date with D which included going to the pub to meet a bunch of bisexual friends. There we met D2 who was having his first date with a lovely girl I got to chat with. On Friday I met D again in the afternoon. I spent the evening with R and the rest of the weekend, as my date with D2 didn’t pan out (he was going to see a lover in another town). It also meant I could take care of him while in the thrust of double NRE. I talked to him about how he was taking my NRE and he said he actually finds it easier to connect with me when I’m with other people, as I am calmer and happier. I am meeting D again tomorrow and on Sunday we are having a bbq with friends, where R, D and D2 will be, and D will probably bring a date.
I went on a date with someone new that I met through a dating site, and though he was really nice and we had fun, the chemistry didn’t click. Ah well.
The next day I was discussing the date with my boyfriend in googlechat and he mentioned that his wife was interested in taking a look at my date’s profile. I said, “Sure!” and gave him the user name of the gentleman in question.
She’s been stood up by a few dates, and this guy seemed dependable and nice. Maybe they will have chemistry? I hope so.
I really needed this pick-me-up! It’s been far too long since I’ve heard happy relationship stories of any kind.
I’m not feeling that articulate at the moment, and it’s been a rough few weeks, but the happiest memory I can think of at the moment is making tea for both my husband and my boyfriend almost every morning before the world was awake while we all lived together.
This is all pretty cool. I’m very new to poly (a few months) but K and I have already got good things going.
Today is a pretty accurate day. K and J3 (It’s her 3rd, I kid you not), hung out all day yesterday while I was helping move a friend some 200 miles. When I got home, we all had McD’s and chatted before I went to bed. Today I helped a mutual friend of ours change our oil and take care of K who’s getting sick. J3 came over and we spent the whole day being lazy, talking about art, computers, and women (J3 is dating another girl). Then it was nap time for the girls while J3 and I went on a walk to talk shop about some filming that we’ll be doing. Afterwards, more talking while cookies and pie were made with my mother. Then I cooked dinner for everyone and J3 went home. Now K and I are relaxing, watching star wars, while she talks to J2. No kids are involved with us since we are fairly young but plenty of bonding to go around.
We just began this wonderful relationship that is based on friendship, so a few weeks ago we my husband and I traveled two hours with our children to go and visit our girlfriend for her birthday. She lives with our boyfriend. Last weekend they just came for dinner. Not sex just dinner, the children again we included. Last night we all had this fantastic date. Just the four of us. Dinner was so wonderful. And we’ll just being together was the most intense ever. We are growing this slowly like a bamboo tree. One step at a time. Looking forward to this weekend, our first weekend trip together as a “pod”, excited and nervous at the same time.
I hope everything continues to go well. 🙂