I’d like to make a request of the polyamory community. This isn’t a poly-specific issue, but since polyamory and sexual issues often intersect, I think we’d be some good people to be the example-setters.
Can we all, please, stop using terms of disgust for people to whom we are not sexually attracted? If there are body parts to which one is not attracted, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with that. But there’s a long way between not be attracted and thinking someone is disgusting for not being attractive to you.
Do you get the difference?
Let’s say that, oh, people with brown hair aren’t attractive to you. It does not make people who have brown hair offensive or disgusting. It just means that they have brown hair and that isn’t your thing. It’s okay that it’s not your thing.
It’s not okay to get indignant because someone has the temerity not to be attractive to you.
Like curvy chicks? That’s cool. It’s not cool to snark the skinny ones just because that ain’t your thang.
Gay male? Cool. But freaking out about how disgusting pussy is? Gimme a break.
I do get where some of it comes from. If you happen to have a taste that may not be entirely mainstream, you might feel a need to defend it. You might want to emphasize how strongly-ingrained your taste/preference is because you have it questioned so often, and asked why you can’t change it. You might even (justifiably) resent the idea that you should change what you like to suit someone else’s idea of what’s okay. I get that, and you’re right. You’re under no obligation at all to justify what turns you on or not.
So, while I sympathize with that, I think there may be better ways of dealing with it than trying to use disgust terminology to defend strongly-ingrained tastes.