A letter I got recently and a question I was asked in another forum really got me to thinking.
The question was:
How did you come to realize that polyamorous relationships were right for you? Now that you live this lifestyle, do you think that it’s for everyone or more “natural” than monogamy?
Polyamory is absolutely and certainly not for everyone. I get far, far too many letters from people who tie themselves into knots to be polyamorous and are miserably unhappy.
It baffles me why they should do such a thing.
Natural for humans is sleeping in trees and eating dinner while it’s still wriggling. I’m not too worried about “natural.”
I was then asked something that brought me up short. It was such a good question:
What do you think are the signs that someone can be or might not be into polyamory before trying it? Or is it just something people have to try first?
This is good, and you need to think hard about it if you’re considering polyamory. If you are reluctant to try polyamory, or if you feel kinda meh and unenthusiastic about it, if it doesn’t sound like the most awesome thing evah, I would say that trying it isn’t a great idea. You want a deep, from the soul yes to try it.
I’m not saying that’s going to protect you from all screwups. It totally won’t. I’ve had those feelings about things and had them turn out to be a mistake, but I think it has still reduced the number of choices I’ve made that did not make me happy or enrich my soul.
If it isn’t enriching your life, if it doesn’t bring you joy, there is no good reason to do it – nope, not even to extend the length of a relationship.