I’m on vacation, so damn’f I’m writin’ something important! Ask me a question, either here or via email, and if it entertains, horrifies or piques my interest, I might write about it/snark it/answer it with all the sober seriousness in my power. Caveat Emptor and all that snot. See y’all next week. Be good, play…
Author: GoddessofJava
Feelings are Not Facts
I follow my intuition, go with my gut, all that. The times I haven’t? Well, things didn’t exactly have what I would call an optimum outcome. Does this mean I think, “Well, I feel this way, so it must be true!” is the way to go. Not. Even. Close. We get a lot of pushing…
Join the Dust of the World
Sure, you can fly, but that cocoon has gotta go! When we’re newly poly, especially if we’re fortunate enough to have found a poly community in which to participate, it is not unusual to dive into this new community with joy and excitement. Naw, I’m not gonna knock that. Joy and excitement are good things….
A Tacit Interview with Franklin Veaux
Franklin Veaux is a long-time polyamory writer and commentator. He’s still working on a book about polyamory. I encourage you to poke him to finish the damn thing! I wanna promote it here, dammit. First things first: Basic stats. Who are you *grin*, what got you into polyamory and how long have you been poly?…
The Long-Distance Relationship
Raise your hand if you’ve developed a friendship or a relationship online. Betcha a doughnut that just about everyone reading this has had one. This means a fair whack of you have had that weird beast in your life — the Long-Distance Relationship (LDR). Communications and networking being what they are, we simply do see…
You Don’t Have to Do It
I’ve been watching on several polyamory boards to see people trying to make themselves okay with being in polyamorous relationships. I’ve seen descriptions of people feeling like their hearts are being ripped out. I’ve seen descriptions of people wanting to curl into a ball and cry while their partners are with other people. I’ve even…
Front of the hand, back of the hand …
This guest column is by Jenny Ford. Polyamory ain’t all beer and skittles. Like your hand, it has two sides, and they can’t be separated. For every wonderful advantage to being polyamorous, there is a corresponding down side, and some of them are mighty difficult to anticipate. Jealousy, time management, communication and boundaries are the…
PolyWorks Fund Logo Contest
The PolyWorks Fund Charity is really taking shape and we’re in the process of starting the site now. We know that the polyamory community is full of talented, creative people and so, we’re going to ask for a little help and ask for a logo donation. We need an original logo for the org that…
Online Support
A lot of poly people turn to online groups for support in their poly lives. As one of the co-founders of one such group, do I think they’re a good thing? Of course! Thing is, it’s a good idea to understand the limits of what an online support group is good for and what it’s…
But I NEED You!
I’ve been in sexual relationships for over twenty years as well as having made a study of them in the last seven. The more I study, the more I see that many problems in relationships seem to be problems of dependence and commodifying a partner. Dependence comes in many forms — emotional, physical, financial. If…