I’m single but I find myself loving a man who is poly. He told me on our first conversation that he was poly and I still chose to continue to see him. Now I love him, we have sex and he said it’s okay if I have sex with other people but I can’t do…
Category: Ask the Misanthrope
ASK THE MISANTHROPE: Age Gap
I find myself struggling with an age gap. The gap between my husband of 11yrs (together for 20+) and myself is not insubstantial; he’s almost more a contemporary of my parents than my peers, though not quite. But the gap between him and his girlfriend of 2 years is enough for healthy biological grandparenthood, and…
It’s Not Up to You
Hello, my husband and I have been with our partner only about three months she’s 21 and lives with family. Her family is now making her choose whether or not to be with us or them. We love her and want her to be with us, but I don’t feel right asking her to choose…
You Have Rights in Relationships
I’d like to ask your advice – I am having some trouble getting over a break-up and wondering how to move forward. Basically, I was seeing a guy for a few months. We had spoken the first time we saw each other about our other lovers, and I understood he had a Domme he saw…
Don’t Be the Cool Chick
I am in a relationship and in love with someone who is poly-curious, but I also currently don’t trust him. I met him several years ago and we had a strong connection that left me broken-hearted when he (very sheepishly) admitted that he had a long-distance girlfriend. He then left overseas for a winter, during…
Not for Personal Growth
This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I happy in polyamorous relationships?” I’ve been struggling with that question, and I wanted to ask another in response to…
Just a Curiosity
I need some help. I am new to the world of poly, in fact I would go as far as saying it’s just a curiosity. But I have kind of put myself in an awkward situation now. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. We have been together for just over 6 months….
Participating in Cheating
I am a woman who is a solo polyamorist. I experienced a painful break-up with a FWB over a year ago, and I took it very hard (I have never taken this long to get over a break-up before), so I’ve been a poly without any relationships for a long time. Over the past six…
Don’t Treat People as Things
I reposted Secondary Clarity on Tumblr yesterday, and got a very interesting response. I thought it was actually worth a column. The original post was mostly the following graphic written by a couple of buddies of mine who have been poly a looonnnngg time and have Learned Stuff. After posting it, I was asked: As…
Rule One*
This was an ask on my Tumblr, but I just had to repost it. Hi there! I have a bit of a dilemma at the moment. I’m in a long term poly relationship (together 6 years, poly for 1.5) I’ve recently found myself very attracted to a professor at my school- I’m 21, he’s 30….