I just started looking at this blog a few days ago and I love it. I also entered a poly relationship a few days ago… and I’m slightly less sure about that. I am dating a man who is also married. His wife is strongly poly-oriented and until he met me he didn’t understand the…
Category: Ask the Misanthrope
Being Informed and Dirty Little Secrets in Polyamory
I wanted to message you (as I’m sure most people who message you do) about a poly/open relationship I’m in. As for the background, I’ve been separated for about 11 months and have been seeing someone for the last two and a half. He is also divorced and on the third night that he stayed…
Polyamory, STDs and Partner Communication
Dear Goddess of Java, I was recently tested for all STDs and found, to my delight, that I have no STDs. I felt relief and actually thought about calling someone to tell them… but then I thought, whom should I call? I called my primary partner, of course, because it was mostly for him that…
I Feel Like My Life is Crashing
I am a lesbian. I am married and in a non-romantic relationship with my wife as we raise our kids. We are friends, that is all. I started dating another woman and could not give her enough because of my obligations. She was sad all the time. I agreed to try this poly thing so…
O.V.P and Passive-Aggressiveness
The wife and i agreed to try an open relationship. We agreed on the rules of engagement: use a condom, be discreet, and don’t put one above the other. But when I set plans to go out with the my secondary she gets angry and tells me she wants to go there too, ie drive…
Love and Time
A faithful reader asks: My partner, Bill, and I have been together for 3 years. During that time I’ve had 5 other relationships, and he has had one continuous relationship for the past 2 years. Last fall, I moved across the state to pursue my Masters degree. I underestimated how painful and difficult it would…
Texting, Triggers and Jealousy
From a reader; My boyfriend, Justin, and I have been dating for about a year and a half and became poly about two months ago when I met another man and fell for him. It has been great; my boyfriend is one of those rare people who is so secure with himself that his…
Jealousy and Abandonment Issues in Polyamory
Mike wrote in to ask: I’ve been in an open relationship for almost two years now. We’re very much in love and have, generally, good and open communication. I have been monogamous but philosophically open to poly before I met my current partner. She and I have worked through a lot of my jealousy…
Ask the Misanthrope: Can a Lesbian Have a Dom/Sub Relationship?
A Reader Asks: I’ve found your site within the last few weeks and I have a question. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 4 years now, and am currently exploring a dom/sub relationship with her. I do not exhibit this lifestyle in public as I am upper-level management in a public…
Ask the Misanthrope: Where Can We Find A Party Favor
Hello. My husband and I are young and take very good care of ourselves. Where can we find a bicurious, bisexual, or lesbian woman to explore with but create no attachments. Just for exploring my sexuality. You’d probably find your best results Googling “Escort Services” and the name of your city. You may have to…