I am in a relationship and in love with someone who is poly-curious, but I also currently don’t trust him. I met him several years ago and we had a strong connection that left me broken-hearted when he (very sheepishly) admitted that he had a long-distance girlfriend. He then left overseas for a winter, during…
Author: GoddessofJava
Not for Personal Growth
This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I happy in polyamorous relationships?” I’ve been struggling with that question, and I wanted to ask another in response to…
Just a Curiosity
I need some help. I am new to the world of poly, in fact I would go as far as saying it’s just a curiosity. But I have kind of put myself in an awkward situation now. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. We have been together for just over 6 months….
Participating in Cheating
I am a woman who is a solo polyamorist. I experienced a painful break-up with a FWB over a year ago, and I took it very hard (I have never taken this long to get over a break-up before), so I’ve been a poly without any relationships for a long time. Over the past six…
First of May
I tend to celebrate the First of May in a couple of ways. First, I listen to this non-worksafe song, which I encourage you to buy for your very own at this link. It’s only a buck, and it’s fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCbD8nsxcd8 Then I read Spring Running. It always moved me pretty profoundly, even when I…
Don’t Treat People as Things
I reposted Secondary Clarity on Tumblr yesterday, and got a very interesting response. I thought it was actually worth a column. The original post was mostly the following graphic written by a couple of buddies of mine who have been poly a looonnnngg time and have Learned Stuff. After posting it, I was asked: As…
More on Consent
I ran across some utter nimrod spouting the “Consent is HARRRD” whine in a new and gloriously idiotic way. The assertion? “Women like it when a man takes charge, therefore they don’t like being asked for their consent. It turns them off.” *facepalm* Dewd, are you really that unimaginative an idiot? First off, not all…
Rule One*
This was an ask on my Tumblr, but I just had to repost it. Hi there! I have a bit of a dilemma at the moment. I’m in a long term poly relationship (together 6 years, poly for 1.5) I’ve recently found myself very attracted to a professor at my school- I’m 21, he’s 30….
Polyamory on Purpose Guide to Polyamory and Pregnancy
Jessica Burde, polyamorous writer, has released a nice little book on polyamory and pregnancy. This is a good, clearly-written guide to considering pregnancy, contraception and the baby talks within a polyamorous relationship. I especially like its practicality and the way that it does not encourage wishful thinking. Babies and parenting are a big deal…
How to Teach Your Sons About Consent*
Me: Good morning, son. Pop quiz. What constitutes consent? Son: A clear, unambiguous yes. Me: What does unambiguous mean? Son: Loud and clear with no fudging. Me: Good. Do you know why I am asking you this? Son: Because of that scene in Pirate Radio? Me: (Blinks a minute, because my mind was on the…