Hello, my husband and I have been with our partner only about three months she’s 21 and lives with family. Her family is now making her choose whether or not to be with us or them. We love her and want her to be with us, but I don’t feel right asking her to choose…
Author: GoddessofJava
Don’t Be the Cool Chick
I am in a relationship and in love with someone who is poly-curious, but I also currently don’t trust him. I met him several years ago and we had a strong connection that left me broken-hearted when he (very sheepishly) admitted that he had a long-distance girlfriend. He then left overseas for a winter, during…
Not for Personal Growth
This is a letter from a reader, but is long enough I want to intersperse my answers by paragraph. In a previous post addressing jealousy and abandonment issues, you said the real question is, “Am I happy in polyamorous relationships?” I’ve been struggling with that question, and I wanted to ask another in response to…
Just a Curiosity
I need some help. I am new to the world of poly, in fact I would go as far as saying it’s just a curiosity. But I have kind of put myself in an awkward situation now. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. We have been together for just over 6 months….
Participating in Cheating
I am a woman who is a solo polyamorist. I experienced a painful break-up with a FWB over a year ago, and I took it very hard (I have never taken this long to get over a break-up before), so I’ve been a poly without any relationships for a long time. Over the past six…
First of May
I tend to celebrate the First of May in a couple of ways. First, I listen to this non-worksafe song, which I encourage you to buy for your very own at this link. It’s only a buck, and it’s fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCbD8nsxcd8 Then I read Spring Running. It always moved me pretty profoundly, even when I…
Don’t Treat People as Things
I reposted Secondary Clarity on Tumblr yesterday, and got a very interesting response. I thought it was actually worth a column. The original post was mostly the following graphic written by a couple of buddies of mine who have been poly a looonnnngg time and have Learned Stuff. After posting it, I was asked: As…
More on Consent
I ran across some utter nimrod spouting the “Consent is HARRRD” whine in a new and gloriously idiotic way. The assertion? “Women like it when a man takes charge, therefore they don’t like being asked for their consent. It turns them off.” *facepalm* Dewd, are you really that unimaginative an idiot? First off, not all…
Rule One*
This was an ask on my Tumblr, but I just had to repost it. Hi there! I have a bit of a dilemma at the moment. I’m in a long term poly relationship (together 6 years, poly for 1.5) I’ve recently found myself very attracted to a professor at my school- I’m 21, he’s 30….
Polyamory on Purpose Guide to Polyamory and Pregnancy
Jessica Burde, polyamorous writer, has released a nice little book on polyamory and pregnancy. This is a good, clearly-written guide to considering pregnancy, contraception and the baby talks within a polyamorous relationship. I especially like its practicality and the way that it does not encourage wishful thinking. Babies and parenting are a big deal…