While bad boundaries are certainly the worst issue I see when we’re looking at polyamorous issues, I think poor self-knowledge is also another serious roadblock when you’re trying to have great polyamorous relationships. My blog, and several others, tend to hammer away at things like being honest about your feelings, learning to communicate well and…
Category: polyamory 101
The Five Unbreakable Rules That Make Polyamory Work
Okay, mah poly children. Grandmama Java (my granddaughter was born Monday) wants to roll it back to some basics for making polyamory work. If you practice these five rules, you will have great relationships, and you will find that things work better for you. One caveat. It will not fix someone else breaking these rules,…
Jurassic Park Secondary
This week’s column is a guest column by Jessica Burde. Ladies, gentlemen and assorted gender identities, today I would like to address one very important point of natural law. Where there is PIV sex, there will be pregnancies. Period, dot, underline, hell I should probably just go and put it in all caps. But I…
Fortune Favors the Bold
I’m having some trouble. I’m a happily married man, with a wife of 8 years, and we’ve been polyamorous for nearly two years now. So far, though, it’s only resulted in a very close friendship of mine becoming, well, a lot closer– for me at least. I’ve been looking on online dating sites and the…
How to Find Girls for Polyamory
This is one of my search term-inspired columns. Someone got to the site with this, so I figured I’d answer it. You find polyamorous relationships more or less like you find any other. Go out. Do stuff you like to do. Meet people doing that stuff, too. You’ll meet some that suit you and you…
Be Yourself Just as Hard as You Can
I am new to the poly life style and am having a hard time sharing my husband of 13 years with another woman. It is something we had always talked about and thought about but now – that it is happening I am having such a hard time with jealously – and these feelings that…
Space Shuttle Polyamory
This damn blog has been too serious lately. There are times when I think we poly writers, in concern for the poly community and its issues might be giving an inaccurate impression. You see how it’s work. You see all the skills you need to learn. You see how we caution you that we all…
Unbundling
Guest column by Vrimj today! Suggestion for Married Couples moving from monogamy to polyamory: Unbundle. A lot of the newbie mistakes that hurt everyone in the poly world come from married couples who consider themselves a package deal, in part because they consider themselves a package. When businesses try to sell me bundled services, say…
Trying to Break Us Up
What to do when a secondary female is trying get the primary male to breakup with the primary female in a polyamorous relationship? This was not an Ask the Misanthrope Question, but a search term that appeared to link to this blog. In casting around for a topic upon which to write, I figured this…
Ask the Misanthrope: Polyamorous Lie Detector?
A Reader Asks: My boyfriend told me that he was polyamorous two years ago, and I really liked him and I also liked the idea. I was the first to ask him if I could see another person, but he said that he didn’t feel comfortable about it and I understood. But then he had…