I’ve been getting several letters that looks like this lately: Dear Polyamorous Misanthrope, My husband has had an affair and now wants to have a polyamorous relationship. She is pregnant, and wants him to live with her. How do I get over my jealousy and stop being so inadequate as a wife? Any poly person…
Category: The Polyamory Community
Closeted and Grief
I got a letter recently from a person in a polyamorous relationship who had lost a partner. Due to financial considerations, the relationship was closeted. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I want to see polyamory as an open and accepted relationship form without repercussions. There’s not much more tragic than losing a…
Monogamy is Not Weakness
I was asked to answer question in an online forum and I could not resist making it a column. Is wanting monogamy a sign of insecurity or weakness? Is wanting to be in a monogamous relationship not only unrealistic but a sign of low self-esteem and fear of abandonment or is wanting and striving for…
First of May
I tend to celebrate the First of May in a couple of ways. First, I listen to this non-worksafe song, which I encourage you to buy for your very own at this link. It’s only a buck, and it’s fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCbD8nsxcd8 Then I read Spring Running. It always moved me pretty profoundly, even when I…
The Polyamorous Misanthrope 2012 Top Ten
Since we’re coming on to the end of 2012, I thought maybe a roundup of the most popular posts on the Polyamorous Misanthrope this year might be useful. The FAQ and About pages did show up in my stats’ top ten, but I hardly think they should count. 10. No Seriously, I Really AM Polyamorous…
Polyamory and Coming Out to Family
This podcast: http://www.thestranger.com/SavageLovePodcast/archives/2012/09/11/savage-love-episode-307 talks about coming out to your parents about being polyamorous. Dan, however, doesn’t have a lot of experience and requested those who do to write in. I suggested your blog as a great resource and I think it would be great if you directed your readers to share their insights with this…
More Anti-Poly Advice
Open Relationships: Partners, Threesome, Swinging, Polyamory and/or Including Any Additional Partner In Your Sexual Marital Relationship No, the answer is NO – DO NOT, I repeat in capital letters: DO NOT have any additional partner/person in your marriage. Threesomes, swinging, polyamory, any inclusion of any one in addition to your spouse as a sexual partner…
Where Do You Get Your Polyamory Advice?
I am occasionally disturbed by the plethora of polyamory advice out there. No, not because I think I need to be the only advice columnist (hardly!) but because I sometimes wonder how people evaluate the value of said advice. I’m sorry to say I probably have readers, myself, who would likely not consider my own…
Space Shuttle Polyamory
This damn blog has been too serious lately. There are times when I think we poly writers, in concern for the poly community and its issues might be giving an inaccurate impression. You see how it’s work. You see all the skills you need to learn. You see how we caution you that we all…
Looking Vanilla and the Law in Polyamory
Hi Ms. Java, A friend of mine is having difficulty with his ex wife. He’s in an open relationship with a married woman (who’s husband knows), and he is concerned that his ex’s new love may be hurting her and maybe even his kids. He wants to ask the courts for more, or even full…